48 pages • 1 hour read
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The next morning, while hiking on the local trails, Meredith asks Wit about his previous relationships, curious to find out more about what a long-term relationship with him might be like. He tells her about a high school girlfriend who dumped him because he wasn’t attentive enough and admits that his time at college has been marked by a series of casual hookups, although he isn’t proud of that fact. The conversation eventually shifts back to Claire, and Meredith mentions that she can feel Claire as an overarching presence on the island. Wit says that Sarah feels the same way, but further conversation on the topic is interrupted by an imminent storm.
On the drive back to the Vineyard, Wit apologizes for how he has interacted with girls at college and tells Meredith that she is prettier than all of them. She reiterates that she doesn’t want to be called pretty, leading Wit to ask why. She explains that Ben always complimented her appearance but never paid attention to any other aspect of her. She loves that Wit compliments her personality, her wit, her charm: everything beyond her physical appearance. He promises not to call her pretty but cannot promise not to think it. Meredith then receives a text from Michael inviting them to the Moor House for gumbo and board games. They plan to go, and while Wit is focused on eliminating his current target, Meredith says she is playing defensive for a bit and letting her target take more people out so that it will be easier for her to make it to the final showdown. When Wit asks her if he’s her target, she lies and says that her target is Luli.
They arrive at the Moor House to find the front door guarded by several family members with squirt guns. They sneak in through a first-floor window that leads into a bathroom, but Wit is still paranoid about where his assassin might be, which makes Meredith feel guilty for lying about her target, but she knows she cannot take the lie back now. To continue their agreement that they do not directly help each other with eliminations, Meredith plays Monopoly with her friends while Wit hunts for his target. During play, she tells Luli that they need to talk after the games are over, to which Luli agrees. Monopoly ends, and Jake heads to the Annex to get a chess board for the group; when he returns, Wit pelts him with water balloons. Meredith and Luli volunteer to get Jake towels, and Luli is livid at the distraction from the promised talk with Meredith.
Luli stops Meredith from apologizing, calls her selfish, accuses her of giving Wit the same status that Ben used to have: a much higher-priority position than her friends. Meredith denies none of it because she knows that Luli’s accusation is true. She tells Luli that her relationship with Wit will conclude at the end of the week, and Luli tells Meredith that she won’t help fix her friend’s broken heart when the fling is over. Luli leaves to take the towels to Jake, and Meredith escapes to the third-floor attic room to cry. Eventually, Sarah finds her and comforts her while Meredith tells her almost everything about the situation—the only thing she holds back is her affection for Wit. Sarah is quiet and then apologizes for being distant; they both are still struggling with Claire’s death, and Sarah feels guilty for leaving Meredith on her own this week despite the stress of planning for her wedding. The cousins spend some time together in the attic while Meredith pulls herself together.
Sarah then invites Meredith and Wit to get donuts at everyone’s favorite donut place; Meredith tries to refuse, since Sarah and Michael wanted to do this alone, but Sarah explains that “alone” just means without the whole entourage. Assassin is the main topic of conversation, and Meredith can feel the weight of her lie, knowing that Wit is getting closer to finding out who her target really is. They arrive at Back Door Donuts and get in line. Sarah talks to some of the people around them about the wedding planning, and Meredith gets dragged into a conversation about the origin of one of the donuts. Eventually, the four place their order. They buy a multitude of donuts, but Meredith feels incapable of eating any. Just as surely as she knows that her time with Wit is ending, she also knows that she has fallen in love with him.
After a few days, Meredith finally returns to join Rachel’s meditation sessions. When Rachel asks about her absence, Meredith tells her about hiding from Ian, who is gunning for her in the game of Assassin. In return, Rachel reveals that Ian isn’t her assassin because Julia eliminated Ian, and the card that Julia received has Luli’s name, not Meredith’s. The two of them meditate, and then Meredith takes the information to Luli, warning her that Julia is after her. Meredith then apologizes for the past 18 months, letting Luli know that she appreciated all of Luli’s attempts to reach out, that Luli didn’t deserve to be ignored, and that no matter what Meredith feels, Luli did nothing wrong. Luli thanks Meredith for the apology but asks her to leave because she needs some space.
Meredith gets breakfast with her friends, who help her gain perspective about Luli’s feelings and promise her that Luli will come around eventually. She then makes her way to the Big House to talk to Wink, who asks her whether her target knows that he is her target. She explains that she lied and can’t back out of it now because he’ll feel betrayed. Wink doesn’t tell her what to do but reminds her that only one person can win the game.
Before she goes to meet Wit, Meredith scrolls through Sarah’s Instagram posts and discovers that Wit knew Claire. When he arrives, she confronts him about the fact, and he justifies hiding his acquaintanceship with Claire by saying that he thought she already knew but didn’t want to hear him say it. Distracted by the argument, Meredith gets sprayed in the back and eliminated from the game by her assassin, Brad. Knowing that she will have to relinquish her target card, she warns Wit to run and reveals that his name is on her card—his real name, Stephen.
She hands over her target card to Brad and then goes to the pond, sulking at her failure to win Assassin for Claire and regretting that she let relationships with boys come between her and her friends. She falls asleep and wakes up when Wit grabs her ankle. He asks why she broke their pact and didn’t tell him about having him as her target; if she had, they could have made a plan to get them both to the finals. She explains that that was her plan all along, but he tells her that by keeping the information from him, she went about it the wrong way. He leaves for the wedding rehearsal but promises that they will talk later.
The bridal party is late to the rehearsal dinner because of an Assassin incident that requires a ruling from Wink. Meredith finds Wit and sees that his black eye has magically vanished; he explains that the mothers of the bride and groom covered his face with a ton of makeup to make him look presentable. He sits with his family and tells Meredith that they’ll talk later. During one of the first rehearsal dinner speeches, Rachel goes into labor. Meredith goes to get Honey and Wink, and they all help Rachel leave while interrupting the proceedings as little as possible. Julia and Rachel head to the hospital. Meredith suddenly realizes that Luli is holding her hand and hopes that it is a sign that all is forgiven. Wit and Meredith give the final speech of the rehearsal dinner together, reading a poem that they wrote for Sarah and Michael.
Meredith leaves the after-rehearsal dinner party early to help her mom babysit Hannah and Ethan while their parents are at the hospital. Meredith and her mom have a heart-to-heart conversation about the past few days, and how hard everything has been after Claire’s death. Meredith’s mom tells her daughter that she misses Claire every day, but that being back at the Vineyard has lessened the grief and has helped Meredith to be more like herself again. Her mom doesn’t tell her what to do about Wit but does advise that she end things on good terms.
Back at the Annex, Wit reminds Meredith that they still have to complete the dare to walk down the darkest street without lights. She tries to get out of doing it, but he doesn’t let her. Wit says that when he did meet Claire, all she did was talk about how amazing Meredith was and how Wit wanted to meet her. They eventually broach the possibility of starting a long-distance relationship, and Wit says he hasn’t thought about it because the Vineyard makes him feel like time doesn’t exist and that summer will last forever. Meredith tells him that she cannot commit to a long-distance relationship, and she isn’t ready to go to New Zealand with him. In the end, they agree to pretend that time doesn’t exist, at least for their last day together.
Luli no longer conceals the rift between her and Meredith. She reveals precisely what has caused the hurt feelings between them—Meredith ghosting her friends, replacing her friends with her boyfriend, and acting like Claire belonged only to her. Meredith cannot deny Luli’s accusations, because she has been realizing the same things through her own self-reflection. Even so, hearing the truth from someone else stings, but both friends need this moment for reconciliation. Both have healing to do, and Healing from Trauma and Grief requires both girls to express the reality of their situations and emotions. For Luli, the accusations that she throws at Meredith trigger her own bout of self-reflection, which will ultimately lead her to realize the ways in which she might be treating Meredith unfairly. Meredith, on the other hand, needs to hear someone else articulate the things that she was already feeling to force the realization that she needed to improve some key behaviors of her own.
Her friendship with Luli now in tatters, Meredith flees to the secret location of the attic to cry and release her hurt. Sarah finds her again, and the cousins air their own grievances. Sarah acknowledges Claire’s importance in her life but also recognizes that she has been unfair to Meredith due to her favoritism of Claire. Likewise, Meredith comes to understand that she needs to share Claire’s memory, because Claire is not hers alone to mourn. Sarah brings Meredith’s feelings of guilt to a close. In the early chapters, Meredith noted how significantly Sarah and Claire looked alike. Now, as Sarah shares aspects of her bond with Claire, she “fold[s] [Meredith] into another warm hug and whisper[s] that she love[s] [her]” (228). Because Claire and Sarah have already been characterized as nearly identical, this moment serves two significant purposes to Meredith’s character development and emotional healing. The first is that she can finally have some closure, for in this scene, Sarah serves as a proxy for Claire and articulates the love that the two sisters never got the chance to share on the day that Claire died. Although Meredith will always carry some of the guilt for never telling her sister that she loved her on that night, saying it now brings her to a new level of closeness with Sarah. This leads to the second significant purpose of the cousins’ hug—The Importance of Family and the strengthening of the family bonds. Though Sarah offers to accompany her cousin back to the party, Meredith asks to stay hidden a little bit longer and to cuddle together under a blanket “the way Claire and [Meredith] used to do” (229). With this essential encounter, Meredith’s heart heals, and she starts to welcome her family back into her life rather than continuing to push everyone away.
Thus far, Meredith has compared herself to Claire and felt the need to win Assassin to honor Claire’s memory. When Meredith is eliminated from the game by Uncle Brad, she momentarily loses her sense of self and purpose. She hides in one of the secret locations to sulk and feels the need to apologize to Claire because she did not live up to Claire’s memory or to the expectations that she imagined Claire had for her to win the game. Her loss in Assassin weighs heavily on her, in part because she now does not know who she is supposed to be, or what role she should play in life. Although this marks a difficult turning point for Meredith, it is also an opportunity for growth by Learning to Become Your Own Person. Meredith no longer has to carry the self-imposed burden of living up to Claire’s performances in Assassin, and she no longer has to try and replace Claire in the family’s game. Similarly, she no longer has to try to be Claire’s replacement in her family now that Claire is gone. Thus, this scene represents a pivotal moment for Meredith’s overall character development.
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