The Moral Bucket List

“A few years ago I realized that I wanted to be a bit more like those people. I realized that if I wanted to do that I was going to have to work harder to save my own soul. I was going to have to have the sort of moral adventures that produce that kind of goodness. I was going to have to be better at balancing my life.”

Brooks takes a confessional tone and elicits readers’ sympathy by drawing them into his confidence with his admission of weakness. At the same time, Brooks initiates the idea that “inner light” can be achieved through moral striving. He also informs readers that the goal is a balance between internal fulfillment and external success.

“It occurred to me that there were two sets of virtues, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral—whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful. Were you capable of deep love?”

Brooks builds one of the central themes of the essay, the juxtaposition of internal, eulogy virtues with external, resume virtues. This quote equates resume virtues with the marketplace and career success and the eulogy virtues with the depth of character that radiates “inner light.” Simultaneously, this quote emphasizes the cursory nature—and therefore the moral emptiness—of the marketplace.

“We all know that the eulogy virtues are more important than the résumé ones. But our culture and our educational systems spend more time teaching the skills and strategies you need for career success than the qualities you need to radiate that sort of inner light.”

Brooks explicitly states his critique of capitalism and modern American culture, which prioritize the resume virtues over the eulogy virtues. He argues that American society prepares its citizens for career achievement but not for moral achievement. Brooks explains one of the major themes of the essay, which is the juxtaposition of external career accomplishment with internal moral accomplishment.

“But if you live for external achievement, years pass and the deepest parts of you go unexplored and unstructured. You lack a moral vocabulary. It is easy to slip into a self-satisfied moral mediocrity. You grade yourself on a forgiving curve. You figure as long as you are not obviously hurting anybody and people seem to like you, you must be O.K. But you live with an unconscious boredom, separated from the deepest meaning of life and the highest moral joys.”

Brooks elaborates on the contrast between internal and external that he has already established by clarifying why focusing on external achievement fails to cultivate a rich, meaningful life. Someone who focuses only on external achievement neglects the “deepest” parts of themselves and therefore never builds the tools or experience to access “the deepest meaning of life and the highest moral joys.” The lesson is that everyone must work to cultivate meaning and joy.

“A few years ago I set out to discover how those deeply good people got that way. I didn’t know if I could follow their road to character […] But I at least wanted to know what the road looked like. I came to the conclusion that wonderful people are made, not born—that the people I admired had achieved an unfakeable inner virtue, built slowly from specific moral and spiritual accomplishments.”

This is the thesis of Brooks’s essay: Goodness, moral joy, and an appreciation for the richest meaning of life must be consciously cultivated by following a road to character. The journey to moral education unfolds through experience. Later in the essay, he will describe this education as a cycle of failure, recognition, and redemption. This quote also establishes a framework for his “moral bucket list.”

“We live in the culture of the Big Me […] But all the people I’ve ever deeply admired are profoundly honest about their own weaknesses. […] They have achieved a profound humility, which has best been defined as an intense self-awareness from a position of other-centeredness.”

This quote introduces the first item in Brooks’s moral bucket list, the “humility shift.” In contrast to the celebration of individualism characteristic of modern culture, the initiation into moral education begins with self-knowledge and a stark reckoning with one’s weaknesses. This quote places the “humility shift” within the thematic frameworks of the journey of moral education as well as the juxtaposition of internal and external.

“Many people give away the book ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go!’ as a graduation gift. This book suggests that life is an autonomous journey. But people on the road to character understand that no person can achieve self-mastery on his or her own. […] People on this road see life as a process of commitment making. Character is defined by how deeply rooted you are.”

As Brooks defines the third item on his moral bucket list, the “dependency leap,” he moves from self-knowledge to meaningful relationships with other people. Like the descriptions of “humility shift” and “self-defeat,” this quote underscores the contrast between the individualistic bent of external achievement, represented by the symbol of the graduation gift, and the other-centeredness of a rich moral life.

“That kind of love decenters the self. It reminds you that your true riches are in another. Most of all, this love electrifies. It puts you in a state of need and makes it delightful to serve what you love.”

This quote explains how Dorothy Day’s transformative love for her daughter exemplifies “energizing love.” The quote emphasizes the way that this kind of love brings people’s attention away from themselves and binds them to others through intimate relationships.

“We all go into professions for many reasons: money, status, security. But some people have experiences that turn a career into a calling. These experiences quiet the self. All that matters is living up to the standard of excellence inherent in their craft.”

In his description of the “call within the call,” Brooks moves from discussing the moral achievement of intimate relationships to that of working for a cause in the world. This quote demonstrates the progression of moral education from knowledge of the self to intimate relationships to lofty causes.

“In most lives there’s a moment when people strip away all the branding and status symbols, all the prestige that goes with having gone to a certain school or been born into a certain family. They leap out beyond the utilitarian logic and crash through the barriers of their fears.”

This explanation of the final item in Brooks’s list, the “conscience leap,” is structured similarly to those of the preceding entries in that it contrasts external achievement with internal character. His example in this passage is Mary Ann Evans (George Eliot), who flourished once she partnered with George Lewes, a man who was technically still married to another woman. She went on to write some of the most influential novels in English literature. Her example shows that inner character leads to richness and meaning while external markers of success are empty.

“The lives of people on the road to inner light] often follow a pattern of defeat, recognition, redemption. They have moments of pain and suffering. But they turn those moments into occasions of radical self-understanding—by keeping a journal or making art. As Paul Tillich put it, suffering introduces you to yourself and reminds you that you are not the person you thought you were. […] This is a philosophy for stumblers.”

Brooks emphasizes the idea that people pursuing a path of moral achievement undergo a continuous process of learning that entails failure. These individuals understand that failure is momentary; it is one piece in the larger narrative of self-development, and it is an invitation to self-awareness.

“The stumbler scuffs through life, a little off balance. But the stumbler faces her imperfect nature with unvarnished honesty, with the opposite of squeamishness. Recognizing her limitations, the stumbler at least has a serious foe to overcome and transcend. The stumbler has an outstretched arm, ready to receive and offer assistance. Her friends are there for deep conversation, comfort and advice.”

Brooks summarizes his vision of how people on the road to character relate to themselves and their most intimate friends. These people maintain brutal honesty with themselves and commit to overcoming their “core sins.” Simultaneously, they are enmeshed in relationships built on unselfish love and enduring attachments.

“External ambitions are never satisfied because there’s always something more to achieve. But the stumblers occasionally experience moments of joy.”

Brooks places the “moments of pain and suffering” he described in Paragraph 25 within the larger context of the stumblers’ lives. Those who pursue only external achievement can never rest; those who pursue meaning may experience discomfort and failure, but they also experience authentic joy in people, organizations, and ideas; in seeing good in action; and in the companionship of fellow stumblers.