Mom & Me & Mom

In the Prologue of Mom & Me & Mom, Maya Angelou states that her mother, Vivian Baxter’s, love sustained and liberated her as a person. Angelou’s relationship with her mother evolves, from their initial estrangement to ultimate reconciliation, into an unbreakable bond. Both women create their relationship anew with love and mutual support. Angelou does not immediately approach her mother after their reunion. Vivian’s abandonment and Angelou’s sexual assault by Vivian’s former boyfriend make her distrust her mother. However, Vivian’s honesty helps her open up. Vivian never claims to be a perfect mother but affirms motherhood and recognizes her mistakes. She explains to Angelou and Bailey that as a young woman, she was not ready to be a mother—which, while painful to the siblings, was a responsible decision.

Angelou starts to open up to Vivian when she accepts her feelings and inability to call her “mother.” Vivian recognizes she does not conform to her daughter’s expectations and accepts the name “Lady.” Angelou gains newfound respect for her, appreciating her instilling independence in her and Bailey. Vivian knows how to apologize and when to expect an apology from her children. Angelou learns mutual respect is key to forming a relationship, as anybody can be right or wrong. Vivian respects Angelou by encouraging her independence and supporting her in various pursuits. She shows remorse for her abandonment and lapses of judgment (which often result in physical abuse) by protecting her and offering advice. When Angelou becomes a mother herself, their relationship evolves once more. Vivian’s acceptance and support of her as a young single mother reinforces her self-worth: “She liberated me from a society that would have had me think of myself as the lower of the low” (75). When Angelou decides to live alone with her son, Guy, Vivian is proud of her daughter’s maturity. She urges her to remain herself, stressing that she can always return home. In response, Angelou calls Vivian “mother” for the first time.

As an adult, Angelou stills needs healthy “mothering.” When the crew charged with her film adaptation mistreats her, she calls Vivian. Vivian reaffirms her motherhood and gains the crew’s favor—and, in turn, endears them to Angelou. Angelou realizes that apart from providing love and protection, a mother “stands between the unknown and the known” (170). Overall, her own mother guides her through life’s challenges and reinforces her self-worth. Despite being apart during Angelou’s formative years, Angelou and Vivian manage to reconcile and create an unbreakable bond. Vivian’s honesty and defiance of societal norms are engraved into Angelou’s psyche, inspiring her to live life to the fullest even after her death.