I Am Watching You

Matthew and Melanie meet at a coffee shop to discuss the Anna Ballard case. Matthew shows Melanie the postcards Ella has been receiving. Melanie promises to examine the plastic-wrapped postcard for prints. She tells Matthew that the lead investigator on the Anna Ballard case—a DI (detective inspector) from London who is never named in the text—will not be happy with Matthew’s meddling. The London DI is an “arrogant pain” who has handled the case badly. Meanwhile, Matthew tells Melanie that there is something off about the relationship between Barbara and Henry Ballard. Though Barbara told him she wanted him to speak to her husband, she never called Henry over to meet Matthew. Matthew suspects Henry is a fishy character.

Ella reflects that Luke was always an easy child, starting from babyhood. Ella had believed motherhood would negatively impact her flower business, but Luke had been an undemanding child. Perhaps because of his unfussy nature, Ella began to take him for granted. Now, Luke has revealed that he and Emily are pregnant. Tony, Luke, and Ella drive to Emily’s house for a meeting with her parents.

At the meeting, Rebecca, Emily’s mother, wants to clarify where both families stand on the issue. Emily plans to keep the pregnancy but might want to give up the baby for adoption. Ella’s heart breaks at the prospect of her grandchild being taken from Luke but knows the choice is Emily’s to make. Luke promises to support Emily in any way he can. Ella notices that Emily’s father is especially hostile toward Luke, blaming him for the pregnancy. The Longfields drive home; Ella spots another postcard in the mailbox. Since it is eight o’clock in the evening, it is clear the card did not arrive by post. It had been dropped off personally.

The unnamed narrator of the interludes, revealed at the end of the novel to be Tim, likes to watch people. He does not know when he began to watch others, but only that watching is important to his existence. He needs to watch to see how people change their behavior when they know they are being observed. Sometimes, the people he is watching can sense they are being watched but are not sure. This is what he likes the best.

Sarah is having to stay at the hospital as her tests have revealed the paracetamol overdose has damaged her liver. If she doesn’t recover, she may even require a liver transplant. Sarah wants to talk to her sister Lily, but her mother refuses to talk about her. Sarah has messaged Lily on Facebook but has not heard back. Meanwhile, Sarah’s mother has called her father to the hospital, despite the fact that Sarah does not want to see the man. Sarah wants to tell her mother the truth about her father, but her mother does not allow that kind of intimacy.

What Sarah has never told anyone is that her father sexually assaulted her before the divorce. When Sarah was 12, she got her first period, alone with her father at home. Much to Sarah’s horror, her father had touched her inappropriately on the pretext of helping her use a tampon. After the divorce, Sarah refused to visit her father, which made both her parents very angry. Sarah had often thought of confiding the truth in Anna, her best friend since primary school, but Anna’s life had seemed so beautiful that Sarah did not want to sully it.

Sarah remembers that Anna had always been kind to her, befriending Sarah when she was a newcomer in town. Sarah had fallen in love with Anna’s beautiful house and happy family. Soon, Sarah had become part of Anna and Jenny’s gang, hanging out endlessly with Tim and Paul. Like Sarah, Tim was from a working-class family on the council estate. It was only in senior school that Sarah was able to repay Anna’s kindness by helping her out in her studies. Sarah had blossomed as an honors student, excelling at English and Math. Now Anna is gone, and Sarah remembers how often her father inappropriately commented on Anna’s beauty. She also recalls that her dad texted her the night of Anna’s disappearance.

People often ask Ella why she chose to be a florist. The answer is that Ella has always loved flowers, so much so that the first job she got was with a flower shop in the small town where she grew up. In her first year of college studying floristry and business, Ella came into a legacy from her grandmother’s death. She dropped out of college and used the money to open her own flower shop. For the first year, the business did not make more than minimum wages, but soon it flourished. Ella’s specialty came to be a rustic-chic style of decoration, long before such arrangements became popular. Now, Ella feels the happiest in her shop, the haven she has created.

Ella starts early at 6 am with the day’s work, using her bright-red-handled secateurs (pruning clippers) to shear the stems of flowers. She leaves the secateurs on a bench to take a bathroom break. When she returns, the secateurs are missing. Ella hears a car and goes outside to check. A car is in the parking area with its headlights at full beam. Ella cannot see the person inside the car. Soon, the car drives away. Ella assures herself that this was probably someone on their way to work, but inside the shop, she finds her secateurs in an odd place, as if placed by someone else.

At Ella’s house, Tony tells her the London DI is coming to see her soon. The Longfields have told the police about the postcards and their suspicion that someone visited their house to drop one off. Still, Ella thinks the case of the postcards is not enough to merit a visit from a London officer. Tony also tells Ella that he is on board with her offer to adopt Luke and Emily’s baby, if the need arises.

The police have also contacted the Ballards, presumably in connection with the postcard case. Barbara fears the renewed police interest will lead to the discovery that she lied about Henry’s whereabouts on the night of Anna’s disappearance. At Henry’s request, she had told the police that Henry was at home with her, though the truth was he had been out. Henry tells Barbara that they will come clean with the police tonight. Barbara asks Henry to move out after the police interview, and Henry agrees. Henry feels a sense of relief that he will no longer have to pretend his marriage is working.

Melanie Sanders, the DI from London, and the family liaison officer Cathy Bright meet the Ballards. Henry confesses his lie to the police, but the London DI tells Henry that it is not enough. The police have learned Henry’s car was spotted near Hexton Railway Station the night Anna disappeared. Henry denies the charge. The DI asks Henry to come with him for further questioning. Henry is terrified.

Since she learned about Luke and Emily’s pregnancy, Ella often thinks about karma. She admits to herself that she may have been judgmental of Sarah and Anna on the train for flirting with strange men; yet when Emily was pregnant, her reaction was sympathetic. Ella knows her conditioning may have led her to be critical of the choices of the girls and more forgiving of the boy. Even now, the sound of Sarah having sex in the toilet appalls Ella. She feels ashamed of that feeling of being appalled. She is thankful the police did not publicly reveal details of the sexual encounter.

Ella is pulled out of her thoughts with a call from PI Matthew Hill. Matthew tells her he may be unavailable for the next few days as his wife has gone into labor.

Sarah has been in the hospital for six days when she reluctantly agrees to let Jenny, Paul, and Tim visit. She is still angry at them for suggesting she should have taken better care of Anna. Tim apologizes; Sarah asks him if he genuinely believes Anna’s disappearance was her fault. He doesn’t answer, but the conversation soon turns to Karl and Antony, whom the police have still not been able to arrest. After the friends leave, Sarah’s mother tells her the police want to have another chat with her. They have discovered footage from the club which suggests Sarah has hidden information from them. Sarah feels sick, and she recalls Anna telling her she does not feel safe.

Though Ella has promised Tony not to go into the shop alone in the early mornings until the new alarms are installed, she is back to complete an important assignment of wedding bouquets. She texts Luke that she is in the shop and gets to work. In the middle of creating the flower arrangements, Ella once again hears the sound of a car and a noise as if someone is trying to open the door to the shop. However, when she goes to check, the noises disappear. Ella begins to cry. Assuming she is being stalked by Barbara Ballard or some other disgruntled person, Ella wishes she had made the call a year ago and freed herself of potential blame. Later, Ella asks Luke if he came by the shop, but he says he did not.

Henry has been released by the police after questioning. They have not yet arrested him; they are investigating his new alibi first. Henry had told Barbara that he went to the pub the night of Anna’s disappearance and fallen asleep in his car. However, that wasn’t true. Henry fears he has botched up his life, with Barbara asking him to move out immediately. In a moment of despair, Henry grabs his oldest shotgun and loads it. He goes to the barn and lies down on the floor, contemplating death by suicide. He does not want to leave a note alarming Jenny, and neither does he want to be discovered by his family. Henry gives the police a call, letting the phone ring. He hopes to talk to DI Melanie Sanders, who seems sympathetic.