Hush

“Mama […] believes God sent His Witnesses to our door that morning for a reason. He knew I’d need them, she says. Mama’s wrapped her arms around God’s legs, Anna says. I guess she figures He’ll drag her to a better place.”

Shirley Green copes with the family’s move by throwing herself into religion. Cameron (Anna) describes her mother’s clinging to faith as a way for her to avoid despair. The faith and community Shirley finds with the Jehovah’s Witnesses allow her to survive, as contrasted with the depressed Jonathan. This speaks to the theme of The Role of Community in Coping with Trauma. Shirley’s response also speaks to her personality—having been a teacher all her life, she needs something meaningful to fill the void left by the loss of her vocation. Religion becomes this replacement.

“My father sits by the window, […]. He is whispering the Miranda rights—You have the right to remain silent. […]—over and over again until maybe he believes it now.”

Toswiah notices her father repeating the Miranda rights to himself in their new house. While this reflects his past as a policeman, the quote also reinforces Jonathan’s decision to speak out against his colleagues, unable to live with their injustice. Ironically, this decision forces him and his family to withhold their pasts, inspiring the title of the novel. While Jonathan did the right thing, this quote may also reflect his guilt for having uprooted his family.

“At school today, our teacher […] said, ‘Describe yourself to someone who’s just meeting you.’ When my turn came, I […] said, ‘My name is Toswiah Green. My favorite color is blue. I am tall for my age. My best friend is Lulu. These are the facts, […] [the] facts speak for themselves.’”

In response to an assignment, Toswiah describes herself in class, declaring that these details are facts. These details not only comprise personal preferences and physical characteristics, but also her name and a close relationship (Lulu). When her family is forced to relocate, some of Toswiah’s facts are erased forever: Her name is changed, and she is forbidden from contacting Lulu. Toswiah’s identity crisis reiterates the theme of Navigating Identity.

“My father’s face, first surprise, then anger, then fear maybe—that his friends could do this,could be so afraid of a black boy that they could shoot without thinking, without remembering that he, Officer Green, was black, that black wasn’t a dangerous thing.”

Toswiah imagines her father’s reaction to witnessing Officers Randall and Dennis shoot and kill Raymond Taylor. This is the moment in which Jonathan realizes that despite the sense of camaraderie among the police, there are aspects of his identity that separate him from his colleagues. He faces the reality of The Pervasiveness of Racial Bias and Stereotypes in American Society. For the first time in his adult life, Jonathan is a Black man first, before he is a police officer.

“I thought white people weren’t mean to black people about race stuff. I thought Denver wasn’t that kind of place. But the morning Joseph walked into the school and said my father was a liar, only a few kids doubted him.”

Joseph, Officer Randall’s son (and Cameron’s crush), spreads rumors at school that Jonathan is a liar, and most are quick to believe him. Toswiah’s surprise at this shows how insulated she’s been from direct discrimination, owing to Jonathan’s status as a member of the police. This is the first time Toswiah has to contend with Racial Bias and Stereotypes.

“I looked at the picture for a long time after he left. I had known everyone in that picture my whole life. Twenty-two officers, all in blue. Look again, though. Blue and white. Blue and white. Blue and white. Then Daddy. Blue and black. Look again. Harder. Longer.”

Toswiah looks at a picture of Jonathan with his fellow officers. This quote highlights how despite all the policemen wearing the same uniform, Jonathan stands out, owing to the color of the skin. This is symbolic of how race supersedes loyalty within the police, which is reflected in Jonathan’s decision to testify.

“The way I felt for Joseph, […] is…I don’t know. It’s something in your heart. You don’t get it. You’re too young.’

‘I’m old enough to know we only have one heart, I said. Love is love.”

Cameron and Toswiah discuss their feelings at having left behind loved ones in Denver. This exchange sheds light on the sisters’ personalities and relationship. Cameron is older, but only by a little more than a year; nevertheless, she believes herself to be more experienced than Toswiah, calling her sister “too young” to understand romance. This may be partially true, as Cameron is more social and outgoing than Toswiah, and thus may have had a wider range of experiences. However, the introverted Toswiah is not meek; even with her fiery sister, she is capable of holding her own and asserting her opinions. Cameron herself is aware of this strength and acknowledges it later in the novel, assuring Toswiah that she is strong enough to survive and rise above their new life.

“‘I feel like I’m going crazy,’ Cameron said. ‘I feel like I’m going to die.’ I didn’t tell her, but I felt like we had already died. We were nowhere. We were nothing. Two grown-ups and two kids waiting to be reborn.”

Cameron is the most vocal about her unhappiness with the family’s move. She does not shy away from crying, screaming, and voicing her frustration while in the safe house. Although Toswiah does not voice her feelings as much as Cameron, she, too, is suffering. In the safe house, the disconnect from other people bar their assigned federal agents is particularly difficult for the family. Toswiah’s assertion that they are “nothing” further highlights the pain of having had their pasts and identities erased. This quote reinforces the themes of Navigating Identity and Community and Coping.

“Toswiah. I am Toswiah. Everyone around me had first names they’d been born with and would probably carry to their grave.”

In her new school, Evie (Toswiah) meets another girl named Toswiah, who is constantly surrounded by friends. As Toswiah and her group walk away from Evie after a tense conversation, Evie remembers how she, too, is Toswiah. In the wake of this moment, Evie’s reflection on how most get to keep their given names is particularly poignant. It illustrates her frustration at her inability to claim her real name and identity. It also highlights her loneliness, as she is isolated from those around her by unique circumstances she cannot share.

“Sometimes you dream […]. And sometimes you just cry. But when you stop crying and stop dreaming, it’s all still here. So you just think about the far, far future and do everything you can to make it feel like it’s coming quick.”

Cameron (Anna) offers Toswiah (Evie) advice on how to stay strong in their new life. Anna has been the most vocal about the family’s situation; however, she is also a fighter at heart. Upon realizing that crying will not change her situation, she focuses on realizing the “far, far future” by working to get into Simon’s Rock College. Interestingly, this advice originally came from Evie. In Evie’s case, the “far, far future” also features a dream about college; however, the highlight of her dream is reuniting with Lulu and Grandma.

“When she starts talking about Simon’s Rock, I want to say What about me?! And even though I never say it, Anna must see something in my eyes, because she always ends by saying You’ll get somewhere, too, T. You might be a pain, but you’ve got a fire.”

Anna confides in Evie about her plan to attend Simon’s Rock, which leaves Evie wondering what will happen to her. Once again, this quote demonstrates the sisters’ different personalities. Confronted with the possibility of Anna leaving, Evie is alarmed; however, she does not express this. As an older sister, Anna can tell what Evie is thinking and speaks to her strength, even if Evie herself has yet to recognize it.

“‘What damn plan does your god have?! Tell me, because I want to be a part of it!’ Mama presses her Bible closer to her chest and doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t look angry. Just a little bit […] broken.

‘Don’t take this away from me,’ she says. ‘Not this, too.’”

Jonathan lashes out at Shirley when she urges him to get a job and leave the past behind, as God has a different plan for them. This outburst displays his deep sense of disillusionment with justice following the Raymond Taylor shooting; he does not have the energy or mindset to exercise faith. In turn, Shirley’s response displays how she has adopted a different set of beliefs in order to survive. A part of her understands that her newfound faith is a survival mechanism, and she acknowledges this when she begs Jonathan not to take it away from her.

“Randall and Dennis got sent to jail for manslaughter. I did that. I sent two cops to jail. Two cops! And it tore me up inside! Tore me up!”

During his outburst at Shirley, Jonathan reveals his conflict over having sent his former colleagues to jail with his testimony. It is significant that, along with the family’s current hardships—loss of identity and isolation—Jonathan is also conflicted over having done the right thing. This points to how strong police conditioning is.

“My grandmother taught. Mama says she never thought of doing anything else. Teaching’s in my blood, she said. No, she said. Teaching is my blood. It’s all of me.”

Shirley used to frame teaching as essential to her identity. Her choice of profession is tied to her personal history as much as her husband’s is. Thus, the relocation causes Shirley significant conflict regarding her identity. However, her response to stress is somewhat different from Jonathan’s because she can return to teaching (once she is certified again). On the other hand, Jonathan can no longer be a policeman for both logistical and personal reasons.

“I watch the wind lift her dress up around her ankles. It’s a warm wind, gentle. I feel it in my hair and against my ears. Maybe it’s a warm front. Coming in from Colorado.”

Evie watches her classmate Toswiah walk away after an unexpectedly friendly encounter. The warm wind she imagines blowing around her symbolizes the warmth of human connection and friendship, pointing to the theme of Community and Coping. Evie imagines the wind to be a warm front from Colorado, Toswiah’s gentler approach reminding her of the comfort of home.

“‘I think the road back is a narrow one,’ she said. ‘A part of me believes that if we do everything right, we can have it again.’

‘But we can’t ever go back there.’

‘Not Denver,’ Mama said. […] ‘The happiness. It’s not always going to be like this.’”

Shirley believes religion will be the family’s way back to happiness. This quote reflects her past as a teacher. A passionate and rational woman by nature, Shirley attempts to impose some form of structure and reason, a purpose, to her new life in order to cope. Thus, she suggests a way in which the family can return to happiness—the consistent practice of religion.

“What do we get—all of us? The knowledge that we’re all alive. That somewhere beneath all the stupid shallow stuff, we’re surviving. That we still love and are loved. That underneath this new Evie skin, there is still Toswiah Green. Somewhere.”

Toswiah describes the letters her family exchanges with Grandma and how, even if devoid of concrete details, they bring everyone some solace. This quote highlights the themes of Navigating Identity and Community and Coping. Grandma’s letters help affirm the family’s true identities and remind them of their pasts; they are something tangible that prevents total erasure of the people they were. The letters also assure the family that they are still connected to someone in this world who loves them.

“But Daddy just keeps staring out the window. And after a moment, the room feels hollow. Mama squeezes my hand once, then lets it go, picks up the Watchtower on her way into their bedroom and closes the door behind her.”

Shirley is ecstatic at having finally received a job as a teacher again; however, Jonathan is unable to share her joy. This quote shows how much has changed for the family. Back in Denver, Jonathan used to take pride in Shirley’s achievements; but now, confronted with the fact that she can reclaim parts of her old identity when he never can, he is unable to be happy. Shirley, in turn, is hurt by her husband’s emotional distance, stops dancing, and retreats to her room with a copy of a religious magazine, as the latter is her only refuge now.

“On Friday, Mira called my name. Evie! she said. Evie, wait up a minute. Evie! And for a minute, or maybe a hundred minutes—it was the most beautiful name in the world.”

Evie begins to feel positively about her new name when she hears teammate Mira call out to her one day. Mira seeking out Evie indicates that Evie is starting to make friends and be accepted in her new home, under her new name. The joy of human connection helps Evie ease into her new identity, and eventually come to like it.

“‘To belong somewhere, then,’ I said. ‘Or something like that. You know. To feel connected.’

‘Like the far, far future had come already, right?’

‘Right.’”

In response to Anna’s question of what Evie wants more than anything in the world (besides returning to Denver), Evie declares that she wants to belong and feel connected. Evie’s response indicates her need for relationships, as reflected in her missing Lulu and Grandma. Anna’s response to Evie, in turn, explains her desire to go to Simon’s Rock. To Anna, belonging and community cannot happen in her current home; she must leave this place, and find another home in the “far, far future” in order to form real relationships again.

“Mama’s a teacher first, Evie. Even with all the Joho stuff. She wants something better for us than this crap. She hates how we’re living. Hates it. You know that and I know that. College? Even as she’s trying to argue with me about it, I know she’ll be thinking Yes, this one’s getting away!”

Unlike Evie, Anna is certain their mother will let her go to Simon’s Rock. Just as Anna divined the cause of Shirley’s newfound faith when it first began, she recognizes that the old Shirley still exists beneath her changed demeanor. She is certain that religion is simply something that helps Shirley stay afloat; their mother is still a teacher at heart and will gladly jump at any academic opportunity that will allow her daughters to better their lives.

“When I get to the finish line, I can see my father, standing there with his bandaged arm and hospital gown. And beside him—two girls—Evie and Toswiah, blurring into each other. I want to keep running, past these ghosts, past everyone and everything, but there isn’t any more air left in me. Just a sadness. Newer than before. And deep as everything.”

As Evie finishes a lap of the outdoor track, she imagines her father at the finish line, with Evie and Toswiah on either side of him. Her sadness emerges from her belief that “Evie” and Toswiah blending into each other means an end to her old life; this blended image is present at the finish line. However, even as Toswiah slows down, Coach Leigh urges her to keep going, as she has four more laps to complete. This indicates that the merging of Evie’s two selves is a new beginning, not an ending.

“I am Toswiah Green. I am Evie Thomas. And some days I like and love either and both of me.”

Toswiah reflects on how on different days, she feels more like either her past or present self. The peace with which she declares this indicates she is beginning to accept her present, and is slowly integrating different parts of her identity.