First They Killed My Father

After a few months in the child camp, the supervisor recognizes that Loung is too strong to be at her camp. The supervisor walks her to the next camp where, before Loung’s arrival, the youngest girl was eight years old. On the walk to the camp, Loung notices a boy up in a tree gathering palm fruits. As soon as she arrives in the camp, she settles into her place and joins the rest of the children in their propaganda lessons. The propaganda is more violent and hateful in this camp than in her previous camp. The children here are trained to become young soldiers. During the propaganda, some of the girls come out to perform a dance. Loung is invited to be a dancer.

Every morning, Loung trains with the dancers, and every afternoon, she works in the ponds. Her wrists and hands are bound for dance training, and her feet are attacked by leeches in the ponds. She also receives weapons training in case the Vietnamese attack their camp. During her training, the supervisor tells Loung, “Children must be taught to follow orders without hesitation, without question, and to shoot and kill even their traitor parents” (136). Filled with even more rage toward the Angkar, Loung thinks to herself that she would never kill her mother.

One night, during propaganda training, Loung falls asleep and awakes with a start as a girl screams. The girl tells the adults that she felt a hand grab her through some bushes. The supervisor arms a few of the girls to look for the assailant. The supervisor orders the girls to stand watch for the Vietnamese. When it is Loung‘s turn, she thinks she sees something in the branches of the trees and screams, “I’ll kill them! I’ll kill them!” (142). The supervisor checks on her, telling her not to waste any bullets.

After seven months away from Ro Leap, the supervisor allows the children a day off. Loung travels to see her mother. She notices that something is different about her former village; it is quieter than when she was there last. Her mother is permitted a few hours to spend with her daughter. In her hut, Ma tells Loung that she tried to trade her ruby earrings for meat so she could feed her malnourished daughter, Geak.

To get meat for Geak, Ma walked to another village to buy chicken from a woman who was known to make trades. After entering the woman’s hut, Ma asked to make a trade, but the woman told her to come back tomorrow. Unfortunately, the return trip was a trap. In the woman’s hut, a man took Ma’s earrings and punched her in the belly. He beat her as she writhed on the floor in pain. Ma shows the bruises to Loung which only increases her anger. Ma tells Loung about Chou’s visits, too. When the evening comes, Loung must return to her camp. As she walks away, Geak and Ma both cry.

The new camp follows the same pattern as the other camps: plenty of food for a few months and reduced rations for a few more. During the latest period of low rations, Loung suffers from painful joints and swelling. After being in too much pain to work, Loung asks for permission to go to the infirmary.

Loung enters the infirmary in a daze. The long walk, her lack of strength, and the stench cause her to walk right past her mother and family. All of her remaining family members except for Khouy are resting at the infirmary. Because there is no medicine to treat illnesses, the family receives sugar along with their daily rations of rice and fish. To help with hunger, Loung and her family members hunt for anything they can eat, like frogs, grasshoppers, and other insects. After a week in the infirmary, Loung grows stronger and is forced to leave.