Everyone in This Room Will Someday be Dead

Gilda’s pondering of the Human Condition leads her toward a magical understanding of the world. She begins thinking of the world in terms of wonder, rather than clinical, detached terms, as a coping mechanism (and later, as a genuine change in perspective). Gilda views murder as a “dark magic” akin to monsters existing (179). Murder escapes the bounds of Barney’s statistics about which demographic is more or less likely to be a murderer. Instead, murder is framed as one of the few magical powers that people can access to alter the world—albeit in a gruesome way. Gilda’s transition toward viewing the world through the lens of magic helps her reconcile with the human condition. This lens makes mundane creatures like rhinos seem like dragons to Gilda; upon reflection, she is amazed that they exist at all (178-79). This perspective makes the world seem like a wonderful place instead of a dismal one lacking in meaning.

Gilda’s occupation with Grace’s murder takes a humorous and ironic turn when she herself becomes the prime suspect of the police’s investigation. Her time in prison (and prior fasting due to a lack of money) is an allegory for Jesus Christ’s 40-day period in a desert ignoring the temptations of Satan. This event serves as the basis for Lent, in which fasting and asceticism are seen as ways to resist sin—as well as a way to observe the grief of Jesus Christ before the celebration of his Resurrection (Easter). While imprisoned, Gilda sees an ant searching for food. The ant causes her to reflect on her neglect as a partner, friend, and pet owner, as she can’t feed the ant. She believes she has nothing to offer; she “can’t muster the energy required to be a positive part of anyone’s life” (218). Gilda feels she needs to demonstrate her own shortcomings to the ant, but when she empties her pockets, she’s “surprised when crumbs fall out” (218). When Jesus finished his fasting in the desert, he began his public ministry. Similarly, Gilda realizes she does have something to offer others: The crumbs are more than enough to feed the ant. Likewise, Gilda cares for her loved ones and with some effort, can express this love verbally and honor that of others. Gilda’s encounter with the ant helps her reevaluate her own existence, her own worth. Her dishonesty with herself and what she wants has fueled her belief that she’s worthless. For example, Gilda feels she has little to offer Eleanor because she’s spent so much time worrying about Giuseppe and her persona at church. Reduced to an ascetic life in a jail cell away from her inauthenticity, Gilda realizes there’s an authentic Gilda underneath to embody and give to the people in her life.