Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole

Some of the book reads like a memoir as Susan Cain describes her childhood, her fixation with sad music, her relationships with her mother, and some of the ways her melancholic temperament manifests in her life. Significantly, Cain also reveals that she lost both her brother and father to COVID in 2020. As traumatic as these experiences were, Cain focuses more on the strained relationship she had with her mother. In a particularly tense scene, Cain unintentionally handed her journals to her mother while moving back home for the summer from college. In the journals, she let loose all her pent-up anger and hostility she felt toward her mother’s overbearing parenting style. After her mother read the journals, Cain believed that she had devastated her mother and their relationship beyond repair. This naturally created a sense of guilt, and Cain felt responsible for her mother’s emotional death. As Cain grappled with the strained relationship, she discovers that her grief was inextricably linked with a longing to return to her idealized childhood in which her mother was the bright light in her life.

Cain’s voice in the book is at times emphatic and at times restrained. She offers moderate criticism of American culture, specifically in the way public displays of grief, sadness, and melancholy are devalued. Cain believes that this is problematic as it forces people to suppress these emotions, thereby robbing them of the opportunity to reap the long-term benefits that come from painful experiences. As she weaves together her argument, Cain never strays far from her own emotional pain. She also spends time discussing her family lineage, revealing that almost all her family was killed in the Holocaust. When she discusses the possibility that trauma may change genes, she examines how this could have shaped her mother’s temperament. She also reveals that as she is writing the book, her mother has developed Alzheimer’s. Cain understands that she is fortunate that her mother still remembers who her daughter is, although she does not recall the strained relationship and how it all began.

Much of what Cain writes in the Coda, she uses for the content of a TED Talk she gave as the book was being released. She confesses in the book that she is often brought to tears by sad music and feels a sense of longing that she intentionally reaches for. In the TED Talk, Cain is accompanied by Min Kym, whose story she tells in the book. A violinist, Kym plays Albinoni’s Adagio in G Minor, the same tune played by Vedran Smailović, the cellist of Sarajevo, whose story begins the book. While Cain does not cry on stage, one can clearly see how moved she is by the music. Cain also provides hyperlinks in the book, one of which is to a playlist that contains sad music as a way of sharing with her audience opportunities to feel melancholy which she maintains is something to be embraced rather than suppressed.Some of the book reads like a memoir as Susan Cain describes her childhood, her fixation with sad music, her relationships with her mother, and some of the ways her melancholic temperament manifests in her life. Significantly, Cain also reveals that she lost both her brother and father to COVID in 2020. As traumatic as these experiences were, Cain focuses more on the strained relationship she had with her mother. In a particularly tense scene, Cain unintentionally handed her journals to her mother while moving back home for the summer from college. In the journals, she let loose all her pent-up anger and hostility she felt toward her mother’s overbearing parenting style. After her mother read the journals, Cain believed that she had devastated her mother and their relationship beyond repair. This naturally created a sense of guilt, and Cain felt responsible for her mother’s emotional death. As Cain grappled with the strained relationship, she discovers that her grief was inextricably linked with a longing to return to her idealized childhood in which her mother was the bright light in her life.

Cain’s voice in the book is at times emphatic and at times restrained. She offers moderate criticism of American culture, specifically in the way public displays of grief, sadness, and melancholy are devalued. Cain believes that this is problematic as it forces people to suppress these emotions, thereby robbing them of the opportunity to reap the long-term benefits that come from painful experiences. As she weaves together her argument, Cain never strays far from her own emotional pain. She also spends time discussing her family lineage, revealing that almost all her family was killed in the Holocaust. When she discusses the possibility that trauma may change genes, she examines how this could have shaped her mother’s temperament. She also reveals that as she is writing the book, her mother has developed Alzheimer’s. Cain understands that she is fortunate that her mother still remembers who her daughter is, although she does not recall the strained relationship and how it all began.

Much of what Cain writes in the Coda, she uses for the content of a TED Talk she gave as the book was being released. She confesses in the book that she is often brought to tears by sad music and feels a sense of longing that she intentionally reaches for. In the TED Talk, Cain is accompanied by Min Kym, whose story she tells in the book. A violinist, Kym plays Albinoni’s Adagio in G Minor, the same tune played by Vedran Smailović, the cellist of Sarajevo, whose story begins the book. While Cain does not cry on stage, one can clearly see how moved she is by the music. Cain also provides hyperlinks in the book, one of which is to a playlist that contains sad music as a way of sharing with her audience opportunities to feel melancholy which she maintains is something to be embraced rather than suppressed.Some of the book reads like a memoir as Susan Cain describes her childhood, her fixation with sad music, her relationships with her mother, and some of the ways her melancholic temperament manifests in her life. Significantly, Cain also reveals that she lost both her brother and father to COVID in 2020. As traumatic as these experiences were, Cain focuses more on the strained relationship she had with her mother. In a particularly tense scene, Cain unintentionally handed her journals to her mother while moving back home for the summer from college. In the journals, she let loose all her pent-up anger and hostility she felt toward her mother’s overbearing parenting style. After her mother read the journals, Cain believed that she had devastated her mother and their relationship beyond repair. This naturally created a sense of guilt, and Cain felt responsible for her mother’s emotional death. As Cain grappled with the strained relationship, she discovers that her grief was inextricably linked with a longing to return to her idealized childhood in which her mother was the bright light in her life.

Cain’s voice in the book is at times emphatic and at times restrained. She offers moderate criticism of American culture, specifically in the way public displays of grief, sadness, and melancholy are devalued. Cain believes that this is problematic as it forces people to suppress these emotions, thereby robbing them of the opportunity to reap the long-term benefits that come from painful experiences. As she weaves together her argument, Cain never strays far from her own emotional pain. She also spends time discussing her family lineage, revealing that almost all her family was killed in the Holocaust. When she discusses the possibility that trauma may change genes, she examines how this could have shaped her mother’s temperament. She also reveals that as she is writing the book, her mother has developed Alzheimer’s. Cain understands that she is fortunate that her mother still remembers who her daughter is, although she does not recall the strained relationship and how it all began.

Much of what Cain writes in the Coda, she uses for the content of a TED Talk she gave as the book was being released. She confesses in the book that she is often brought to tears by sad music and feels a sense of longing that she intentionally reaches for. In the TED Talk, Cain is accompanied by Min Kym, whose story she tells in the book. A violinist, Kym plays Albinoni’s Adagio in G Minor, the same tune played by Vedran Smailović, the cellist of Sarajevo, whose story begins the book. While Cain does not cry on stage, one can clearly see how moved she is by the music. Cain also provides hyperlinks in the book, one of which is to a playlist that contains sad music as a way of sharing with her audience opportunities to feel melancholy which she maintains is something to be embraced rather than suppressed.Some of the book reads like a memoir as Susan Cain describes her childhood, her fixation with sad music, her relationships with her mother, and some of the ways her melancholic temperament manifests in her life. Significantly, Cain also reveals that she lost both her brother and father to COVID in 2020. As traumatic as these experiences were, Cain focuses more on the strained relationship she had with her mother. In a particularly tense scene, Cain unintentionally handed her journals to her mother while moving back home for the summer from college. In the journals, she let loose all her pent-up anger and hostility she felt toward her mother’s overbearing parenting style. After her mother read the journals, Cain believed that she had devastated her mother and their relationship beyond repair. This naturally created a sense of guilt, and Cain felt responsible for her mother’s emotional death. As Cain grappled with the strained relationship, she discovers that her grief was inextricably linked with a longing to return to her idealized childhood in which her mother was the bright light in her life.

Cain’s voice in the book is at times emphatic and at times restrained. She offers moderate criticism of American culture, specifically in the way public displays of grief, sadness, and melancholy are devalued. Cain believes that this is problematic as it forces people to suppress these emotions, thereby robbing them of the opportunity to reap the long-term benefits that come from painful experiences. As she weaves together her argument, Cain never strays far from her own emotional pain. She also spends time discussing her family lineage, revealing that almost all her family was killed in the Holocaust. When she discusses the possibility that trauma may change genes, she examines how this could have shaped her mother’s temperament. She also reveals that as she is writing the book, her mother has developed Alzheimer’s. Cain understands that she is fortunate that her mother still remembers who her daughter is, although she does not recall the strained relationship and how it all began.

Much of what Cain writes in the Coda, she uses for the content of a TED Talk she gave as the book was being released. She confesses in the book that she is often brought to tears by sad music and feels a sense of longing that she intentionally reaches for. In the TED Talk, Cain is accompanied by Min Kym, whose story she tells in the book. A violinist, Kym plays Albinoni’s Adagio in G Minor, the same tune played by Vedran Smailović, the cellist of Sarajevo, whose story begins the book. While Cain does not cry on stage, one can clearly see how moved she is by the music. Cain also provides hyperlinks in the book, one of which is to a playlist that contains sad music as a way of sharing with her audience opportunities to feel melancholy which she maintains is something to be embraced rather than suppressed.Some of the book reads like a memoir as Susan Cain describes her childhood, her fixation with sad music, her relationships with her mother, and some of the ways her melancholic temperament manifests in her life. Significantly, Cain also reveals that she lost both her brother and father to COVID in 2020. As traumatic as these experiences were, Cain focuses more on the strained relationship she had with her mother. In a particularly tense scene, Cain unintentionally handed her journals to her mother while moving back home for the summer from college. In the journals, she let loose all her pent-up anger and hostility she felt toward her mother’s overbearing parenting style. After her mother read the journals, Cain believed that she had devastated her mother and their relationship beyond repair. This naturally created a sense of guilt, and Cain felt responsible for her mother’s emotional death. As Cain grappled with the strained relationship, she discovers that her grief was inextricably linked with a longing to return to her idealized childhood in which her mother was the bright light in her life.

Cain’s voice in the book is at times emphatic and at times restrained. She offers moderate criticism of American culture, specifically in the way public displays of grief, sadness, and melancholy are devalued. Cain believes that this is problematic as it forces people to suppress these emotions, thereby robbing them of the opportunity to reap the long-term benefits that come from painful experiences. As she weaves together her argument, Cain never strays far from her own emotional pain. She also spends time discussing her family lineage, revealing that almost all her family was killed in the Holocaust. When she discusses the possibility that trauma may change genes, she examines how this could have shaped her mother’s temperament. She also reveals that as she is writing the book, her mother has developed Alzheimer’s. Cain understands that she is fortunate that her mother still remembers who her daughter is, although she does not recall the strained relationship and how it all began.

Much of what Cain writes in the Coda, she uses for the content of a TED Talk she gave as the book was being released. She confesses in the book that she is often brought to tears by sad music and feels a sense of longing that she intentionally reaches for. In the TED Talk, Cain is accompanied by Min Kym, whose story she tells in the book. A violinist, Kym plays Albinoni’s Adagio in G Minor, the same tune played by Vedran Smailović, the cellist of Sarajevo, whose story begins the book. While Cain does not cry on stage, one can clearly see how moved she is by the music. Cain also provides hyperlinks in the book, one of which is to a playlist that contains sad music as a way of sharing with her audience opportunities to feel melancholy which she maintains is something to be embraced rather than suppressed.